social scientist for you

SEX (as defined and described by a man): fun, raucous, wild, lusty, playful, ecstatic, hot, sweaty, spontaneous, exquisite.

SEX (as defined and described by a woman): serious business.

Which of the above definitions of sex/sexuality most fit you? While those two definitions are, of course, gross exaggerations, they contain significant truth, even today.

Women have received more negative training and sexual education about their human sexuality than men. To have a primary belief that one's human sexuality is serious first and pleasurable a distant second causes the loss of much pleasure in many sexual processes.

That sexuality belief also leads to much putting down of men for their "frivolous" sex behavior, not just because of serious consequences that men might be overlooking but because "human sex should be serious and you men don't treat it seriously enough." In other words, to be lusty, wild or playful is not OK human sexuality.

Past Survey

Q: Concerning contraception, who carries the greater responsibility?

Past Survey

Q: Concerning abortion, who should have the right to decide?

The human sexuality sphere is one in which many men and women tend to judge the opposite sex as not being OK. Most making such sex judgments would feel better and be happier if they adopted some of the opposite sex's ideas about sex via their own personal sex education.

Your dreadful sexual dream last night indicates that you have human sexual lessons to learn, not necessarily that you need to enact the dream's contents.

The current emphasis on wild women seems exactly right to me. It reflects the increasing human awareness among women that they can change themselves. Let's celebrate the growing number of women who have found that it is better to empower themselves by eliminating their own unhappiness than to remain unhappily dependent upon the adage "men should change." It is popular with some women to bash male sexuality, but such bashing often seems an attempt to obscure women's difficulties with the topic. Those women who bash men's sexuality often deny they have difficulties with their own wild sexual enjoyment. Human compassion (for men and women) would be a happier state for such women and also more effective in eliciting changes in men. Let's celebrate some of the newer feminists who are expressing more human compassion.

The failure of men to be serious about the consequences of their sexual behavior has been very harmful to our human society. Men have abandoned millions of children and have helped cause the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Those acting so irresponsibly are probably not reading this book. But I hope that their partners (who may be reading it) can start demanding both serious and wild behavior from such men. For partners sometimes can be the catalysts for human change, sex education advocates.

Suggestion: In your own life try to make sex both lusty and serious